be the person your dog thinks you are
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
Do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you?
“keep the change, ya filthy animal”
i want flawless eyebrows and $100,000
moment of silence for those people who followed me since i started this blog
they have seen things i am not proud of
when u try to tell ur friends a pun